UGH!!!!

I know you readers, my friends and family, are probably wondering..."who is this boy, what happened to his head and why is he on this blog?" I'll just say, the common denominator is me. Yep. This is Ed. He is Jay's friend and my friend's son. He is a sweet boy and on Monday, he was entrusted to me to go to the pool with his little brother, Cal, and Jay. I even asked, "Niki, do you trust me to take the boys to the pool?" I think I know what her future answer will be..."Not NO but (bleep) NO!"

Okay I will save you more guessing...yes, he split his forehead open under my watch, but no, it didn't happen at the pool. We had a brief stay due to weather. I was ever so vigilant the whole half an hour we were there...watching the clouds, counting the boys, looking for lightning, counting the boys, listening for thunder, watching the boys...I didn't even sit down. As dark clouds loomed just beyond the foothills I paced the side of the pool...first sign of lightning and we're out of there! I didn't even wait that long..."what if..." kept creeping into my thought processes. Finally, after giving JUST enough time for the boys to get wet and splash around, jump off the side, once or twice, I gave the order: "Boys, it's time to go!" Having been warned every five minutes of this inevitability, they each complied with little complaining. I dried them off, disaster diverted, and then, my brain must have gone on vacation for the walk home.

The boys ran up ahead. I watched them cross the street, run down the grassy hill, stop, look for cars and then start across the next street. It is at this point, I haven't any idea where my head was...it must have still been in those dark clouds that were inching their way closer. The next thing I knew I was jolted back to earth by a loud, ear piercing scream...the kind that says, "I am REALLY hurt." And there was Ed, laying on a ramp to a landscaping trailer parked on our street. Then, another ear piercing scream...this one came from his little brother who, unlike me, witnessed the whole thing. I ran over, sat him up, saw the fear in his eyes as blood squirted out of his forehead. I know, its gruesome...but I have to describe what I saw. The same towel I had used to dry off his little body, just moments ago, was now pressed firmly to his forehead. "Ed, you are going to be okay...Cal, GO GET YOUR MOM!!!!"

I knew, without a doubt he was going to need stitches. I knew because four years ago it was Jay's forehead that needed that same attention. But for some reason, this time, I had this horrible sinking feeling in my gut. Don't get me wrong, every time one of my boys gets hurt, it hurts me worse. My heart breaks for them and I would give anything to take their pain away. I felt this same way for Ed but on top of that, I felt a tremendous weight and guilt over not protecting another person's child...of not staying attentive every moment that he was in my care.

Niki, Ed's mom and my friend (still), was incredibly understanding, generous and gracious. She realizes how quickly our kids can get into trouble and I know she doesn't hold me responsible. Ed is fine and wears those stitches like a badge of honor...full entry into boyhood. As for me, I hope that in some way, that cut on Ed's forehead will leave a scar on my heart...that I will always remember to pay attention and stay on my guard when caring for all children.